Getting dressed

Suppose you need to get dressed. Some haste is required. A murderer is on his way to your home (it is as if you can see him), and nothing is more unpleasant (as you know) than to be undressed when you receive a murderer. Unfortunately it is impossible to put on your clothes. Maybe you can stuff one of your legs into the hole of a trouser leg. But how to squeeze it through to the end? And even if that could be done (the killer is now at the door), how to put the other leg into the other hole without losing balance and toppling over? With your head through a jumper sleeve and a sock dangling from a toe you try to resign yourself to your fate. Clothes are simply not shaped like body parts. In a sense they have no shape at all. Just as you cannot get your skin, once taken off and shrivelled up, to fit tightly around your bones again.

© 2009–2023, Martijn Wallage